I’m back!

My thoughts are scatted, it’s been far too long since I’ve updated this blog. Life has been busy in many good ways. I’ve found love and happiness but still deal with my food demons I’ve always battled.

My little sister finally married in January 2017 and I had reached my lowest weight in 6 years, 148 pounds. It was a slow hard journey of exercise, eating right and Phentermine cycles. I started dating again and to my surprise shorty before my sisters wedding I met a wonderful man named Nick. He treats me like princess and I could have never dreamed I’d have it so good. Four months after meeting Nick, I began to fall back into old habits of food addiction. I was happy and on top of the world, suddenly my diet and exercise routines went out the door and I was in love and nothing else mattered. Fast forward to today almost a year later and I’m ready to get re-focused. I managed to gain about 13 pounds back and currently weight 161.

My ultimate goal moving forward is to reach 130 pounds which is about 30 pounds from where I am out now. phentermine helped me get the jump start start I needed in the beginning when I had started at 200 pounds. Unfortunately in my opinion, Phentermine never works as good as the first time you take it so I am choosing to not try another cycle this time. Today will be day one of the gym and good eating. Nick has been so supportive and offered to accompany me to the gym each night after work so we can motivate each other. I’m happy to start this again and can’t wait to share my future success.

My current weight 161my lightest in 6 years 148

155 here when the weight started to come back

Never get the hang of this

It’s been so long since I’ve posted anything here and honestly I feel miserable. I have managed to maintain my weightloss from before but I’ve failed to lose anymore and there’s plenty more to shed. After my initial success with phentermine I was super excited to start a second round after taking a 6 month break from it but as luck would have it my body didn’t agree. I started my second round and it made me miserable moody and the scale and my appetite stayed the same. It felt nothing like the first round and to say I was disappointed would be understatement. After 30 days of being on the second round my doctor and I agreed that maybe I hadn’t been off it long enough for it to be effective again, so back to fighting off the cravings and maintaining my current weight I went. Sure I’ve cycled through the usual diet then Binge diet then binge again and so forth.  I am pathetic that at 29 years old I can’t just stop and eat like a normal person and it sucks. I can’t imagine people who are going through an actual addiction becuase I suck at just trying to eat right let alone trying to quit something addictive. My sister is getting married in January 2017 and I am the maid of honor I want to get my weight under control and she’s this last 50  pounds God help me find the dedication cuz right now it’s really hard.  

 

Another round

This is my second day starting my 2nd round of Phentermine. I’ve been a slacker about blogging but to keep it simple I managed to maintain my weightloss from the first round so my doctor agreed to let me do another. It’s been about 6 months since my first round and I lost around 27 pounds. Let me tell you keeping it off was more of a challenge than I thought but I did it. My goal for this second round is to lose another 25-30 pounds. 

  
  

Moving but not far along

I’ve been slacking at blogging and other aspects of life. I can’t help but wonder where all my motivation went! The good news is I’ve managed to maintain my weight after coming off the Phentermine. I was initially happy with my my results but it’s becoming short lived because I’m stuck ! I haven’t moved down another pound and for sure I thought by this time in my journey I would have lost at least another 10-15 pounds. I have another 2 and a half weeks or so till my 29th birthday and I suppose I just pictured things differently in my head. It’s no ones fault but my own. On a more positive note, I did get my braces off this last week which feels amazing no more metal mouth haha. 

So where to go from here? I know I need a gym routine I tried getting up every morning before work this week around 4:30 am but that only lasted 3 days before I felt like a zombie who couldn’t function come the end of the day. I’ve noticed of I try and workout after work I also feel extremely exhausted and some what guilty because my dog was home the whole 11 hour day and then if I leave to go workout after work then he’s home by himself again and I feel bad. Call me crazy I know but when you live alone and your dog follows you around everywhere like a kid you just start to treat him like he really is your kid. I did have the genius idea to run every morning or night with my 110 pound yellow Labrador but that was quickly shot down as well due to his massiv strength and energy he drags me around like a rag doll when we run which one day led to a solid face plant into the dirt ! So here I am back to the drawing table. A co worker at work had joined crossfit recently which I too had done years ago and loved it, only problem now though is finding a class early or late enough with my 11 hour work day schedule  

     I know it sounds like I’m making so many excuses but I really have tried to make some of these things work only for them to come back and bite me in the ass somehow! I do know how important this journey is though and I have my eyes on the future so it’s back to the drawing board for me again! 

Braces off :))))))))))  

  

Over due update

I officially lost 30 pounds with the help of Phentermine. I am happy with the results and feel motivated to continue the journey. My last day oh Phentermine was about 3 weeks ago, I didn’t wean myself off per my doctor she said it was up to me but either way it wouldn’t make much of a difference so I took my last tablet 3 weeks ago  and honestly I didn’t notice any bad side effects or withdrawals when stopping…. Until now. My first week once stopping the medication I’ll admit I slept a whole lot better and My appetite seemed the same. I was going coasting along these past two and half weeks like nothing but somewhere out of left field my hunger comes back and let me tell you it’s returned with a vengeance! Suddenly I felt hungry and compulsive with cravings, my small portions I was able to maintain were suddenly out the door and I couldn’t get enough food.  To be blunt it scared me, here I was thinking I had this and nothing was going to bring back my bad habits but silly me it’s like an addiction I just can’t seem to shake! The one positive outcome is my mind set, I found myself quickly realizing I was slipping and needed to pull myself together! I was so disgusted with myself when I weighed in on Monday because it showed I gained 3 pounds and while they may be a small amout to some  it’s a lot to me when every pound is so incredibly hard to get off. I am going into this week with positive thoughts and I have made it my goal to consciously think before putting food on my plate. I’ve got this I won’t let this win! 

     On a more positive note for the future, my doctor did explain at my last visit that if I maintain or continue to lose weight on my own through the up coming holidays then she is willing to prescribe another 90 days oh Phentermine to reach my goal weight of 120 pounds. I’d like to keep her offer as a back up plan because I want to prove to myself that I can do this without more Phentermine. I love what the medication did for me and the help it provided but now I know it’s up to me to continue this journey ! 

Starting weight 200 pounds

Current weight 170 !    

  
Moms birthday BBQ  

Phentermine success

I started my phentermine journey about 4 months ago and I am now into my fifth. I have lost over 30 pounds and have continued to slowly lose weight. I couldn’t be more happy with my success and continued progress I see daily. My energy levels are up, I don’t feel like food has control over my emotions and I’m excited for what the future holds. 

     My next goal is to hit the 40 pound mark by the end of my 6th month on Phentermine. My doctor has explained that she will continue prescribing my medication up until 6 months after that we plan to discuss other options to keep me track till I reach my goal weight of 120 pounds! 

My new kitty Mia :))))    
 

All smiles

I am less than 10 days away from completing my fourth month on Phentermine and I feel amazing! The weight is coming off much slower but it’s still coming off. What I’ve noticed the most is my confidence! I am finally starting to feel like me again, although I still have a long way  to go I finally feel like for the first time in  5 years I am ready to live. I encourage myself through my weigh-ins and I’ve rewarded myself with shopping when I reach each goal. I’ve learned what it’s like again to eat because I’m hungry and not because I’m emotional or bored. I’d be lying if I said I never have slip ups or temptations but they seem so small now given my new outlook on food and my abilities. I eat everything in moderation and small portions plus enough water to choke a whale 🙂 I couldn’t be more happy with where this journey has taken me and can’t wait for what’s to come.  

 

Life is good minus the bumps

my weekend was was fantastic my parents were up to visit my sister and I. We had a blast   We boated all day Saturday followed by a BBQ with my cousins and my sisters BF along with the parents then Sunday relaxed and went shopping 🙂 I was good all weekend making sure not to over indulge in any foods and to only eat when I felt hungry and although it was hard and I did eat more than usual I was satisfied with my self control. I knew the entire weekend that come Monday I had weigh in with my doctor for the Phentermine refill. When Monday came I was thankful stepping on the scale and seeing progress. I started out at 198 lbs about 85 days ago and I am currently down to 175 lbs! That’s a total of 23 pounds lost and although I had set a goal of 30 pounds on 3 months I am more than happy with my progress and ability to maintain without gaining. My doctor has agreed to let me use the Phentermine for up to 6 months so long as my vitals and progression are positive. So this marked my half way point my next “big” goal is 50 pounds total weightloss ! I know I can beat this I will achieve!  

My beautiful mom and I enjoying the boat tour this weekend! Oh and my new hair color eeeek not sure how I feel about my blonde being gone haha

   

7 more days till weigh in 3 with doctor

I must say finishing up my last 7 days of my 90 day Phentermine is bitter sweet. I started out not really thinking much would happen but here I am today almost 25 pounds lighter! I am thrilled and it’s been a journey of discovery. I finally feel like  I can battle this obesity once again.  I find myself more mentally aware of my portions and urges to when I’m actually hungry. My blood pressure is amazing my skin and face are clear and look less inflated. I drink more water than I ever knew was humanely possible and I don’t miss a single thing from before. 

     Going forward I have weigh in # 3 with my doctor this coming Thursday. Originally she discussed allowing me refills of my Phentermine as long as each monthly weigh in showed at least 2 pounds of weightloss. She explained that I could use the Phentermine for 5-6 months instead of the standard 90 days as so long as my vitals and weightloss showed positive improvements. I am hoping that she is happy with this next weigh- ins results because I would like to continue a few more months with the help of the Phentermine before I feel comfortable enough to do it on my own. The biggest misconception people have with its use is its doing the work for them. Let me just start by saying this pill is no magic diet see results fast kind of deal in fact if you don’t make a concious effort to read your body then it will fail you. When I first started it was very obvious I was taking something but after a few weeks I could no longer feel the ” rush” or jitteryness the Phentermine initially gave me. This is when the real mental games started to play out, I knew I needed to watch what I was eating but I also knew that the pill is a appetite suppressant therefor I knew I needed to really make sure I was actually hungry when I ate. 9 times out of 10 I was never hungry I was bored or emotional and that’s why I wanted to eat. Rather than eat at that point I’d simply grab a bottled water instead and guzzle it down, boom it always did the trick because in all honesty I never feel hungry with the Phentermine its all just a mental game of me craving food but not actually needing it. 

     It’s a hard long struggle but I know it’s worth it, I am closer to the fun outgoing girl I used to be. Positive thoughts for this next weigh in 🙂  

 

Checking in

I have about two weeks till my next weigh in with my doctor for my 90 day mark . After two weeks of teetering on 180.7 pounds which is about 20 pounds less than when I started, I finally reached 179 ! Now I am consistently staying at 179 but I’m confident I’ll see more come off when I weigh in this weekend at home. I am super nervous for my doctor check in two weeks from now because my weightloss has dramatically slowed down. I know slow and steady probably means I’ll be more likely to keep it off however I also want to prove my dedication and reach my goals by the end of month 5. My doctor agreed to let me stay on the Phentermine for up to 5/6 months as long as I checked in monthly and had at least a 2 pound weightloss each time. These next few weeks are crunch time before my next weigh in, I know I can ! My goal at check in is at least a 5 pound weight loss from last months mark which means I need to weigh around 174 ! Here’s to another week!  

   

Long journey ahead still but I can tell I’m making good progress 🙂